Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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