my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
