i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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