Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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