And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
