would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Randomize
