Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize