u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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