my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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