are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
