Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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