i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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