Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
