none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
