I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
