I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
