I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
