She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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