I hope mine doesn't look like that
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
