just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I've blown a few things in my day
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
