I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
