do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i came on her dog
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
