Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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