i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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