Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
