How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
