I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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