im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
