just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
