Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
