So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
