How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
