just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
