I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I have aggressive nipples.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
