Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
