party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Less talking, more tequila
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
