Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize