but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
