can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize