Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
