You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
