he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
