I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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