Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I want her autograph on my taint
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
