She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
