Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Randomize
