apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
