He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
