so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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