he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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