Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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