haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize