How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
