Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
