I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
