I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
