Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Randomize
