You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize