Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
