Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
