i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
