After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
