my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
