I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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