I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
